biscotti brain

People can change anything the want to...

2012-01-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

“People can change anything they want to.

And that means everything in the world.

People are running about following their

little tracks - I am one of them. But we've

all got to stop just following our own little

mouse trail. People can do anything - this

is something that I'm beginning to learn.

People are out there doing bad things to

each other. That's because they've been

dehumanised. It's time to take the humanity

back into the center of the ring and follow

that for a time. Greed, it ain't going anywhere.

They should have that in a big billboard across

Times Square. Without people you're nothing.

That's my spiel.”

-Joe Strummer of The Clash, via cameras 4 change

Make Your Own Adventure

2012-01-09T10:25:00.000-05:00

I was putting together a post on personal projects for my Click! blog, and was reminded of some really powerful truths that go far beyond photography.

You don't have to wait to be invited.
You don't have to wait to be chosen.
In fact, if you wait, it'll probably never happen
and your life will be marked by the waiting
rather than the doing.

The most interesting work you do
will be work that you developed.
The most interesting projects you are involved with
will be the projects you created.
Want to read an amazing book?
Write it.
Want to watch a fascinating film?
Shoot it.
Want to be moved by a stirring photograph?
Make it.
Want to be part of a rich community life?
Invite someone over for dinner.

Whatever it is you crave from life...
do that thing.

Just start.

2012-01-04T17:56:00.002-05:00

Somewhere. Anywhere. Just go ahead and start.

I didn't need a single thing for Christmas, so I asked my family and friends to chip in for books to create a library for our ONE-SHOT students.

A good friend had a fancy New Year's Eve party, and wanted to have a charitable fundraiser as part of the event. I asked her if she'd consider chipping in for books for the library. She said yes.

There wasn't a library. Now there's a library (well... as soon as the books are delivered). Not a huge one, but a start.

I was blown away by the generosity and love of my family and friends. I was left undone that they would embrace these kids I love on the other side of the world.

It really is just this simple.

Penn State: Why I think we're shocked by the wrong thing.

2011-11-10T12:59:00.001-05:00

If you live in North America, you've likely heard the story unfolding at Penn State. A former assistant coach has been charged with sexually abusing boys, and the legendary head coach, Joe Paterno, has been fired for not doing enough when allegations came to light nearly a decade ago. Students who support Paterno (and his 61-year career at Penn State) have rioted. And all over social media, you read the word 'shocked'. People are shocked about the story, and shocked that the students seem to care more about sport than abused kids.

Is it shocking that sexual abuse wasnot reported to police by an organization concerned about theirreputation and ability to raise huge amounts of money? Not really.

Is it shocking that a group of youngpeople raised to worship sports heroes have acted out their frustration thatone of their own was seen to be punished for the actions of others. No. Not shocking.

I'd like to suggest that we're shockedby the wrong thing.

Statistically speaking, some members ofthe Penn State coaching staff were sexually abused as children. Somemembers of the Penn State board of trustees were sexually abused as children.

Statistically speaking, some of thoserioting students have been sexually abused.

Statistically speaking, some of thosestaff, board members, rioting students, and abused boys have gone on to abuse others.

Statistically speaking, 1/4 of thewomen reading these stories have been sexually abused. 1/6 of themen reading these stories have been sexually abused.

Statistically speaking, a number of youreading this blog post have been sexually abused. Or will be.

We are those boys abused in a shower. We are Sandusky, the accused. And we are all Paterno. We have all, at some point,remained silent when we should have spoken; turned away, left thehard questions unasked. And we have all played a role in building anenvironment of shame, where it is often too difficult for thosearound us to be honest with their pain and struggles.

Don't mistake what I'm saying here... Iam not condoning or excusing abuse. Ever. I have my own long shadowthat I deal with. But I am suggesting that we can do somethingconstructive with this shock. We can use it to propel us to love ourcommunities in deeper, healthier ways. We can use it to foster safespaces, and safe relationships where there is space to share ourstories of shame without fear of judgement.

4 Things to do if you love a book

2011-10-29T12:18:00.000-04:00

Let me just be transparent from the beginning, and tell you that this post is as much a reminder for me as anything. I've done everything on this list, but haven't done everything on the list for every book I've loved.

Right now I'm working through a book I'm really enjoying. I'm finding it well worth the price I paid and then some. I happen to have a paper copy of the book, but my comments apply equally to e-books.

If you've loved a book:

1. Write a review. If you blog, blog the review and then tweet about it. Write a review at Amazon, or one of the other online book sellers. Make the review honest. Make it short enough that others will read it. Tell readers what you liked about the book. You might think your little review doesn't matter, but it often matters very much to publishers considering offering another book deal to an author. Book reviews add up. If you want to support an author, then this is a great way to do it.

2. Find a way to send a note to the author. Don't go all Misery-stalkerish. Just let the author know that you appreciate their work and why. Many writers work for months (or years) on a book, mostly alone. If you appreciate their work, this is a kindness you can do for someone who has brought you pleasure. If the publisher is willing to forward notes (you can usually find this out with a simple email), then send a short note on real paper. If not, most often there is a way to send an email directly to the writer. Keep it short. Don't expect a reply. While it sometimes happens, this is a gift you're giving without any expectation of something in return.

3. Buy a copy of the book. If you read a library copy, or borrowed a copy from a friend, buy your own copy. Don't think your one little copy will make a difference? Again, it's all about the the cumulative effect. It doesn't matter if you buy a hard copy or an e-copy. Just make sure the publisher knows that you support this writer and this book.

4. Buy a copy for a friend. Spread the love.

SheLoves: Learning the Language of Presence

2011-10-25T20:08:00.000-04:00

The gracious folks at SheLoves Magazine recently posted a piece I wrote called Learning the Language of Presence. If you have thoughts to share, I'd love it if you joined the conversation there.

#OccupyTheBodyOfChrist

2011-10-16T15:52:00.001-04:00

In case you don't read Mike Todd's blog, and are the Jesus-y type, don't miss this post.

We are the 1%

2011-10-16T13:29:00.000-04:00

I should start with a caveat right up front: I support the Occupy Wall Street movement. I support the actions of anyone who feels unheard, making themselves heard, peacefully. And if I weren't so concerned with how an arrest on my record would impact my ability to travel, I might just head to one of the protests in solidarity.

But... and this is a big but... we are totally off the mark if we are protesting against large banks and corporations while creating an artificial "us" and "them" situation. There is no "them". There is only "us".

If you have an interest-bearing bank account, if you have a credit card or line of credit, if you have RRSP or retirement investments, if you have investments for your child's education, then you are in the 1%. In other words, unless you've taken whatever money you've earned directly from your labour, and tucked it under your mattress, you're part of the system.

It's true.

We don't like to admit it. We want to blame those who are very rich. But we are all culpable. We want our money to magically multiply when we aren't looking. We don't ask questions about what the banks or corporations do to make that money. We don't care, as long as we get some interest. The very rich might get a significantly larger slice of the pie than we do, but it's all the same pie.

We know there aren't fairies off somewhere printing currency, and making deposits into our accounts.

Somewhere in our consciousness we must know that we profit from companies that strip the rain forests, pollute water, foreclose on our neighbours, and forever alter the genetic make-up of our food.

I admit that I struggle with this. A lot. I have some money invested. I work for myself, so am counting on that money keeping me from homelessness when I'm old. But I often wonder, at what price?

I'm not saying that money is evil or that we shouldn't have it.

I am saying that if we think we're outside of the system, we're deluding ourselves.

The 99% grow our food without protection from chemical sprays so we can have the cheap and beautiful-looking food that we demand. The 99% work in sweatshops, so we can buy cheap goods. The 99% lose their lives mining minerals needed for the manufacture of our gadgets, so we can stay entertained. The 99% get sick from breaking up our toxic computer waste and breaking up the ships that carry those cheap goods to us across the ocean. The 99% work every day of their lives until they die, in part because of the lifestyle we enjoy.

So the question isn't how do we stop "them". The question is what will we do?

Song Offering...

2011-10-13T17:22:00.002-04:00

Holly just offered up a song in the comments on the last post, as part of something beautiful. And it's lovely. So I thought we might just make a little playlist here, if you have one you'd like to offer up as well. Think of it as your very own house concert; part of something beautiful indeed.

Part of Something Beautiful...

2011-10-12T20:39:00.000-04:00

Taking some time to appreciate beauty today.

For my Iraqi student who make the lovely photo above. For all of his peers, learning to be family to one another.

For these twins, abandoned and then found in India.

For my friend Roger in Uganda, grieving the death of his father, when life was already so very hard.

For my soulful friend celebrating a birthday tomorrow.

For the sheer joy of discovering this song, thanks to this lovely one.

On Shame, Debt, and Why I'll Never be Prime Minister

2011-10-11T17:07:00.000-04:00

We live not just in an age of anxiety, but also in an age of shame. I find very few people who do not feel inadequate, stupid, dirty, or unworthy. Guilt is about things we have done or not done, but our shame is about the primal emptiness of our very being, an ontological question. It is not resolved by changing behavior as much as by changing our very self-image, our alignment in the universe. -Richard Rohr

When I received the quote above in my inbox the other morning, I couldn't help but smile. I've had shame on my mind a lot these days, as I continue to work through some areas of healing, and as I begin an online course called Ordinary Courage: Lessons on Love, Shame and Worthiness.

A different part of my mind has been trying to wrap itself around the global financial crisis, what's happening in Greece, and the Wall St. protests (Mike Todd has a post up with some good links, if you're interested). The issues are very complicated, and to cope, my mind has a way of boiling very complicated things down to a very simple essence. After the reading I've done to date, I can see two commonalities behind the financial mess we're facing: over consumption and greed. Obvious, I know.

We all have a habit of over consuming. We all want what we don't have. For some the habit is more obvious than others, but we all do it. What makes me so sure?

Over the years, I've become convinced that over consumption and greed are rooted in shame. It is a hallmark of shame to try to cover over pain, to bury it, to anesthetize it. We all know the "keeping up with the Jones'" syndrome. We recognize that sub-conscious voice that tells us we're not enough.

It is no different for governments. We are the government (though it's easy to lay blame far from our own feet). Governments are made up of fragile, fallible people who also happen to wield a lot of power. When you mix shame with greed, the resultant over consumption, and power... it's a recipe for the establishment of societies who want to take, but don't want to contribute. Shame is a taker. When shame is healed, there is life.

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. Arthur Ashe

I can't do anything about these broad global problems. I can't fix any of it. But I can start with myself. I can find healing for my own brokenness, and I can live in the opposite spirit. In healing, I can be more generous, and love those I come into contact with in healthier ways.

Time, Death & Superpowers

2011-10-06T20:54:00.001-04:00

Too many inspiring quotes out there to let pass by...

“Everyone has unique skills; skills that I call superpowers. What is your superpower?” -Tammy Strobel

"Do not rise out of obligation. Do not rise because of feared consequences. Do not rise because you think being tough makes you smarter (it doesn't.)

Decide to rise because you want to expand -- your being, your life, your possibilities.

Decide to rise to explore your place in the universe.

Decide to rise because super powers are meant to be activated and applied to real life." -Danielle LaPorte

"Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." – Steve Jobs, via decor8

"Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose… There is no reason not to follow your heart." – Steve Jobs, via decor8

"It’s normal to feel sad at the passing of a legend. But in the long-term, the best response to grief is to change in response to the loss you feel." -Chris Guillebeau

A Prayer to the Old Spirit...

2011-09-30T18:19:00.000-04:00

Old spirit, in and beyond me,
keep, and extend me. Amid strangers,
friends, great trees and big seas breaking,
let love move me. Let me hear the whole music,
see clear, reach deep. Open me to find due words,
that I may shape them to the ploughshares of my own making.
After such luck, however late, give me to give to
the oldest dance.... Then to good sleep,
and - if it happens - glad waking.

~Philip Booth

I read this at re-nest today, and had to post it here. Feels like a wonderful way to embrace living with a mountain.

What's Your Everest?

2011-09-25T13:32:00.000-04:00

“Sure, I could take my two weeksvacation time and just fly down to Patagonia. But I'll never get achance like this one again. If I don't get on that boat, I knowexactly what I'm going home to. If I do... my future is unwritten.” -Jeff Johnson*

“Taking a trip for six months, youget into the rhythm of it. It feels like you can just go on foreverdoing that. Climbing Everest is the ultimate and the opposite ofthat, 'cause you get all these high-powered plastic surgeons andCEOs... and you know they pay $80,000, and have Sherpas that put allthe ladders in place, and 8,000 feet of fixed ropes... You get toyour camp and you don't even have to lay out your sleeping bag –it's already laid out with a little chocolate mint on the top.
And the whole purpose of climbingsomething like Everest is to effect some sort of spiritual andphysical gain, but if you compromise the process, you're an assholewhen you start out and you're and asshole when you get back.” -YvonChouinard*

What's your Everest? That thing so big it takes your breath away just to think about it. That thing you barely remember, pushed so far back in your heart by fear. That thing you just can't shake. That thing you wait for the conditions to be right... what is it?

Do that.

Start the journey. Start the climb. Today. Right now, as a matter of fact.

The time you spend running from it isn't part of the journey. The time you spend trying to forget it isn't part of the journey. The time you spend planning for it isn't part of the journey.

To start the journey you need to... well, start the journey.

Live it.

I promise you, it will be totally worth it.

* quotes from the film 180º South, a brilliant film that has quickly become one of my favourites.
** photo by Heber Vega, a guy who knows how to journey.

Last day in Sulaymaniyah

2011-09-21T00:25:00.001-04:00

I can't believe the time has gone so quickly!! It's my last day here, and in so many ways I'm not ready to head back to Canada. My consolation is that we've started to plan next year's ONE-SHOT workshops (yes, there will be two next year), so I'm already looking forward to coming back.

While I'll no longer be with the workshop physically, I'll still be helping behind the scenes until classes wind up at the end of November. If you've been following along in support of me 1) thank you!!! and 2) I hope you'll continue to follow along at the ONE-SHOT blog. I'm really looking forward to seeing what the students will create over the next two months.

I'll have a few more photos of the city to post when I'm back in Canada, but today I want to give a shout-out to the kids who drew me here in the first place. As I've said before, they are a bright, enthusiastic, talented, and funny. I've learned a lot from them.

A reprieve from the heaviness...

2011-09-18T15:00:00.000-04:00

Tonight we headed up the mountain we see out the apartment windows. The view of the city was stunning, and what's more amazing is that it's a relatively new view. The mountain is ancient, and the city has a long history, but electricity is relatively new on a large scale. Imagine the scene without any street lights and only minimal house lights.

But the most stunning view was facing south. Found much needed perspective.

Finding another way forward...

2011-09-17T09:58:00.000-04:00

Yousee, only the survivors know the full terror of the passage, the armsthat held them through it all, and the power of the obstacles thatwere overcome. Those who have passed over eventually find a muchbigger world of endurance,meaning, hope, self-esteem, deeper and true desire, but mostespecially, a bottomless pool of love both within and without. -Richard Rohr from Breathing Underwater

We all know pain. And collectively, as nations, we know pain. We've just come through the anniversary of September 11, and I watched the US continue to wrestle with their pain from the other side of the world.

Whether as individuals or nations, we so often withdraw in the belief that our pain is unique and beyond what anyone else has experienced.

It is only when we reach out to others who know pain and enter it together, that we find healing. I doubt the world would be the same if we all spent some time mourning together.

Broken-hearted: When you step outside the fairy tale beginning...

2011-09-17T05:15:00.000-04:00

When you open yourself to love, it's only a matter of time until your heart is broken. You know it's coming, but the pain shocks just the same.

My relationship with northern Iraq changed at the end of this week. I spent a little time at the Red Prison, formerly Sadam Hussein's intelligence headquarters in Suaymaniyah. This is where Kurds were brought to be tortured, jailed and killed for simply being Kurds. It's where their children were tortured to make their parents talk. The photo above is the ceiling of the women and children's section of the prison.

The worst single massacre against the Kurds happened during a gassing campaign. Jets were flown very low over villages so the sonic impact of the engines would break out the windows of houses, and then poison gas, engineered to smell like apples was dropped. 5,000 were killed during the first few days. Thousands succumbed and died later. Those that survived fled to the nearby mountains and hid in caves. By the end of the campaign, upwards of 180,000 Kurds were exterminated and 5,000 of their villages destroyed.

This happened during the 70's and 80's. Many of us were starting out life, learning to drive, and complaining about the cost of gas... purchased from Hussein. We lived our lives oblivious, while no one tried to stop the killing. The mighty god of oil was worshipped instead.

All of this makes me even more in awe of the Kurdish people I meet now. For the Kurds who are over 30, they were all directly affected by the killing campaign. They lost loved ones. They themselves were tortured. And they most certainly fled on a 11 day walk to safety when the entire city of Sulaymaniyah emptied, many dying along the way.

When I am walking through the bazaar, or along the streets, and I see someone staring, I immediately smile and greet them 'Salam'. Without fail, they light up and greet me in reply. Somehow there is no hatred for foreigners who could have stopped the killing, but didn't. This stuns me.

I can't help thinking of the nationalistic and religious retoric I've heard over the years, that has explicitly stated that there is nothing good in Iraq, no hint of God's presence, and any good thing that might exist in this place must be brought in from the west. I can tell you that is utter bullshit.

God is very real in this place. Where there are a group of people so oppressed and not mired in hatred... that is certainly evidence.

Finding another way in...

2011-09-15T01:17:00.003-04:00

Sitting on the couch, an expressive little boy comes up beside me, talking a mile a minute. The look on his face is so earnest; he longs to be understood. But he's speaking Spanish, and I don't understand a word.

Standing in the Family Center, I am beside a beautiful woman with a bright smile. She's so expressive when she speaks, even her eyes smile, trying to get her point across. But she's speaking Kurdish, and I don't understand a word.

Showing images on a screen, I explain some of the photographic techniques we'll cover that day. The boys sitting in rows of chairs are listening closely, craving the information. They ask questions that the translator answers, because I don't understand a word of Kurdish.

In the last few weeks I've come to realize just how important listening is for me. It is my way of making connection, of being in relationship. I long to hear stories, and to see each one played out on the face of the speaker. I'm trying (though it's slow) to speak less, and listen more. Sometimes presence is enough. Sometimes a hug. But sometimes being heard and understood is the only thing.

I used to think that being heard was enough. Now I know it isn't.

A way forward

2011-09-14T14:42:00.000-04:00

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.” - Alan Keightley via SwissMiss

One of the first things Kurds ask when I meet them is "Is this your first time here? What do you think?". Of course I tell them it's amazing here, because... well, it's freaking amazing here.

The next thing they do is thank me for coming. Thank me. They say things like "You see, it's not like people think. It's safe. We're not like people think." And it's completely true.

It's remarkable to be in a place where a people are forging a new way, slowly rebuilding what others tried their best to exterminate. They were told for decades that they had no worth, not even worthy of life. But here they are, they ones who survived, building a nation.

There is still a long way to go, in so many ways. Particularly for women, who lack many basic freedoms. But things are changing here. They're slowly finding a new way to experience the world.

If an oppressed nation can make a way forward, I can't imagine why any of us can't do the same.

The view from the kitchen, a few minutes ago.

2011-09-13T12:38:00.001-04:00

Hello from Sulaymaniyah!

2011-09-06T04:43:00.001-04:00

[Hi all- I sent this email out earlier to family and friends, and am posting it for my family and friends here. You'll see a link included to the ONE-SHOT blog. If you're interested in the project, you can follow along there. Most of the writing I'll post on Biscotti Brain will be personal observations of my trip. ONE-SHOT also has a Facebook page. If you're on FB, look it up. A bunch of our local volunteers have been posting photos of their experience yesterday. Photos posted here were made by Heber Vega, ONE-SHOT founder, FB evangelist, and all around great guy.]

Hifriends!

Aftermonths of planning, we had our very first class of The ONE-SHOT

Projectyesterday afternoon. It was great! The kids are fantastic

andsuper enthusiastic.

Forthose who haven't heard, we're working with a group of boys at the

localgovernment orphanage here in Sulaymaniyah. Essentially it's a

photographyworkshop for kids, with a peace-making twist. We'll hold

classesdaily this week, and then each Friday for an additional 10

weeks. I return to Canada on Sept. 22, so I'll only be with the kids

forthe first part of the workshop. It's killing me already. Someof

thesekids have natural talent, and I'm excited to see what they'll

createover the 15 weeks.

We'reupdating the blog after each class. If you want to follow

along,here is a link to the first workshop-related post:

http://www.theoneshotproject.com/2011/09/06/2011-workshop-day-1/ I'm

onlysending this one email, so you don't have to worry about me

fillingyour inbox. Ha! If you'd like to follow along, please

continueto check out the blog.

Ialso want to thank everyone who helped to make this ONE-SHOT Project

happen! Some of you gave money and cameras, some gave time and

expertise,and some gave needed encouragement. Thank you, all!!!

Thereis no way we could have run this workshop without you.

Ona personal note, I'm loving it here. It really is an amazing

place. I'm staying with friends Heber Vega and Belen Leon and their

kids,the founders of the project. They are incredibly warm hosts,

andI am very well taken care of!

Muchlove + peace to you all...

Erin

Thoughts on Community...

2011-09-02T10:06:00.000-04:00

It seems that when Jesus healed, the healed body was the necessary mechanism to bring individuals back into community. Blindness + deafness created barriers, and removed people from community. The folks with skin diseases were unclean + banished. Same with the woman with the bleeding issue. And the dead ones... well, they were quite obviously cut off from community.

Each healing returned the person to wholeness and community. I doubt that the healing from disease also included the sudden knowledge of how to live like a well person (ie. suddenly knowing what to do with depth perception after a lifetime of blindness). But that's what community was for: to help the person learn to live in wholeness.

I wonder if that's why Jesus didn't want people to talk about the healings. He was perhaps afraid they would focus on the lesser part of the story. They told their communities about the physical healings, but missed the redemption (for them all) in the midst of it.

The Pharisees asked for a sign from Jesus, a miracle. Jesus didn't have one for them. They were looking for the lesser part of the story too.

Isaiah 58 starts with the prophet relaying this message from God... 'you've been looking for a sign that God has noticed your actions', but they missed the better part of the story. When they had the chance to restore community, they broke it down instead.

From v.6 on... God says 'you want to know what I want from you? Restore community'.

Justice heals community.

When you free people imprisoned unjustly, you restore community.

When you stop unfair working conditions for people who have no choice but to take those jobs, you restore community.

When you share your food with the hungry, and make a place at your table, you restore community.

When you bring the homeless into your home, you restore community.

When you share your clothes with someone who has none, you restore community.

If you end these injustices, you'll be known as one who repairs broken places. You will be known, quite literally, as one who makes space for community to happen. You will be a re-builder of fountains, roads and houses. Fountains were public gathering places, homes were safe spaces, and roads the connecting links. Tangible metaphors for creating the kind of openness that heals community.

The product of being open and loving for the sheer joy of it is the creation of the environment where community comes; where Kingdom comes.

********

It's a holiday time here in Iraq. When they have free time, they want to spend it together. They gather together in public space... in the food court, at the grocery store. They don't gather to shop, they gather to be together. For those who find themselves on the margins, it must feel like an even more profound loss.

That's what's on my mind (again) this afternoon, as I look out my window to the east, past the golden-hued city, to the mountains beyond.

A dose of happy.

2011-08-27T07:41:00.000-04:00

I watched this nearly a dozen times before I looked up the lyrics.
This makes me smile every single time.

Come Home: The Voice Project

2011-08-21T10:18:00.001-04:00

It often seems that the path of peace, forgiveness and reconciliation, is led by women. When I came across the movement behind The Voice Project, I was struck again by the power of ordinary people extending extraordinary love.

For over two decades, the LRA has been stealing children, and forcing them to fight their war in Northern Uganda (and later Southern Sudan and Eastern Congo). Kids have been forced to kill their friends and family members before being pressed into service as soldiers.

From the website: "Many abductees and former soldiers escape but hide in the bush, afraid to return home because of reprisals for the atrocities they were forced to commit. The women of Northern Uganda - widows, rape survivors, and former abductees have been banding together in groups to support each other and those orphaned by the war and diseases so prevalent in the IDP (Internally Displaced Persons) camps. And they are singing songs. The lyrics let the former soldiers know that they are forgiven and that they should come home. The songs are passed by radio and word of mouth out into the bush, as far as the Sudan and DR Congo. And it’s working. Former LRA are returning and for the first time 24 years the region has a chance at real peace."

You are forgiven. Come home.

The Voice Project partners with musicians, recording super casual covers of other musician's work, to amplify the message of the Ugandan women. Couldn't resist including some Canadian content here... Bedouin Soundclash covering K'naan.

Bedouin Soundclash » K'naan from The Voice Project on Vimeo.

You are forgiven. Come home. This is such a beautiful picture of the Kingdom.
You are forgiven. Come home.

Grateful | Remixed

2011-08-20T18:29:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks back my 7th blogging anniversary passed by, quietly. Seems like a great chance to do a little more reflection on the role that blogging and social media has had in my life. It astonishing, really.

Most of my closest friends today were made through blogging. And for the vast majority, I've had the huge pleasure of spending time with them face to face.

My walk with Jesus is deeper, more vibrant, more real and grounded than ever, because of the things I've read online or people I've met, who have challenged every notion I ever had about Christianity.

I've been to Swaziland and hung out with orphans and grandmothers because of contacts I made online.

I've developed an interest and (some) skill in photography, because of contacts made and resources available online.

And just this past Tuesday night, I experienced the very real, and not unusual power of connection. A friend and farmer, Linda Crago hosted an evening at her farm to help raise funds for the upcoming ONE-SHOT Project. She invited some extremely cool folks with a gourmet food truck to her farm. She set up a raffle table with produce and seed from her farm, along with contributions from the food truck. Her daughter sold tickets. We welcomed our friends and contacts... and on a Tuesday night, on a farm set pretty much in the middle of nowhere, we sold out the food truck and raised $420 for ONE-SHOT. People came, they ate, they toured the field of tomatoes, they talked... late into the night they talked.

It was a beautiful night. But what does it have to do with social media? I first got to know my friend Linda through Twitter. Same with the food truck crew. Many of the folks who came out heard about the event through Twitter. And because of the power of those connections, some northern Iraqi kids are going to be able to learn photography. Funny how that all works.

I'm going change things up around here a little. Seems time. I'll be re-posting some cool things I find around the web, and continuing to write sometimes. It will be random. If there's been any consistency around here, it's been randomness.

And for a couple weeks in September I'll be posting thoughts of life with orphans in northern Iraq. Yeah. I'm personally delivering those point and shoot cameras I was asking for a few weeks back. I'll also be teaching photography, sorting out curriculum, and brainstorming with The ONE-SHOT Team. A team of incredible folk that I met online...

For those who still say they "don't get blogging", they "don't get social media", I'd have to say that I don't really get it either. But it's been a pretty fantastic ride figuring it out. And I'm so grateful...

xoxo

Grateful

2011-08-11T23:26:00.001-04:00

Of all the amazing things this world offers,
tonight I am in awe of
the earthy smell of dirt
and pungent scent of tomato leaves,
the generosity of queen ann's lace,
the ravenous pecking of chickens at
a scarred tomato.

There is a lot wrong in the world.
And there are at least a billion things right.

xoxo

Behind Closed Doors

2011-08-09T20:01:00.001-04:00

It's been a rough few days. Not sure if it's the fact that I missed my meds twice last week, or if it's the usual brand of torment I put myself through from time to time. Doesn't really matter. The fact is that my mind has been swirling with the kind of thoughts and self-doubts that knock me off balance.

**********

When you pass by the house on the corner, you're never quite sure which neighbour you'll meet. The nice woman that pretty much keeps to herself, or her unbalanced self. I'm not sure if she's missed her meds, or if it's something deeper. It's certainly spiritual. Tonight as I approached the corner I could tell it was the unbalanced one I was walking towards. She told me herself, in her own way. As soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk, she began shouting to the neighbourhood every black thought I've been torturing myself with the last few days. She didn't miss a single one. I might mention here that I don't know her at all. And yet I may as well have been transparent, the way she saw straight through me.

None of the neighbours knew the weight of her words. Thought I was merely victim of a mad woman. But I knew. And I'm quite sure she did too.

I was carrying a basket of dirty laundry as I walked past. She ended her shouting with this angry little benediction:

"You should wash those dirty clothes.
You should wash your dirty self.
You should have a bath.
You should have a shower.
You should get baptized."

With that, the shouting ended. And with that the shame was lifted. Not because the shouting had stopped, but because she brought God into the conversation, and that put it all into perspective.

**********

I'm back at home, behind my door. I pause to pray. Quickly jot down these thoughts. Start to put aside what happened and go back to my work.

But I can't put aside the thought that at her home, behind her door, her torment continues.

Reconciliation Through Healing

2011-08-07T10:35:00.000-04:00

Reconciliation Through Healing from Preemptive Love on Vimeo.

This video is from the amazing folks at Preemptive Love. It gives a wonderful picture of what they're doing in Iraq, and gives a look into what's happened there in the last few decades.

But more than that, you will see a pattern for healing that can be applied anywhere.

2011-07-31T22:27:00.001-04:00

I've just watched fireworks from my studio window.
And the sound of cheering is rising up from the neighbourhood around me.
And the ships in the canal are sounding their horns.
And there is laughter.
And more cheers.

And I think it's too far between times when we all stop to celebrate together.

Whatever joy is clinging to you tonight, I hope you celebrate it.
I am.

What do you see?

2011-07-28T17:55:00.000-04:00

It would have been easy to doze through the afternoon heat, laying on a thick blanket in the shade just a few feet from the lake. But I found my eyes restless, fascinated by the patterns of light made by the reflections of sun off water. I kept picking up my camera, putting the viewfinder to my eye to look more thoroughly at the stunning patterns. Occasionally my finger would click the shutter.

"What do you see...?" he asked. I don't think this old friend realized what a gift he'd given. In posing the question there was an underlying assumption that I was seeing something interesting... and it made him curious to know what it was.

What do you see around you? I'm curious to know...

(this has been cross posted from Click!, because apparently I don't have enough neglected blogs already.)

Have a spare point & shoot?

2011-07-21T16:35:00.001-04:00

Hey guys-

I'm really excited about The ONE-SHOT Project. You can read more on the website, but in a nutshell, kids on the margins in northern Iraq are going to have the opportunity to learn photography and and some multimedia skills. With these skills they'll be able to process and tell their stories, enter into further studies if they choose, and they will learn to see the world in a new way.

The first workshop will start at the beginning of September with 15-20 kids from an orphanage (in northern Iraq). There is a need for point & shoot cameras for the kids to use.

Have you upgraded your own camera, and have a point & shoot camera to spare? Please consider donating it to this project. You can click through to the ONE-SHOT blog to find out more. September is coming quickly, and it would be so great if we could make this happen.

How to Build a School in Three Hours

2011-07-13T19:09:00.001-04:00

Brilliant TEDx talk by Taylor Conroy, via GOOD. Absolutely worth the time it takes to watch. I call it brilliant, because Conroy invests his gifts into a concept that can change the world for good, even though he initially had no idea what to do.

And you know, you are as bright and talented as Conroy.

Just sayin'.

We've built some wells together, and some other cool stuff.

What would you say if I told you that I thought we could be a community that changed the world?

I don't know what it would look like, but I absolutely believe it to be true.

Hi darling: Letters from the past

2011-07-04T20:07:00.000-04:00

"Hi darling ... finally seem to have my email straightened out and now to find all my addresses ... hope all is well in your world ... love ... ruth"

I came across this in my email archives tonight, while looking for something else.
It's strange to see. She's been gone a few years now.

I'm not sure if I have any letters from her, but I do have a few photos. My favourites are from when she was young and strong, before her body became a whisper. But her voice? Oh my, her voice is so consistent. I can hear her in this email.

I'll tuck it back into the archives.
I'm curious, do you keep emails from friends you've lost?
Do pixels and 1's and 0's retain a hold for you?

Perfected Intentions

2011-07-04T15:41:00.000-04:00

Mike Todd posted a link to this great video earlier today, and it was too good not to pass along here too.

Short, but potent. I know I'll be watching it many times. I'll add my favourite quote in the comments, and would love to hear yours. Better yet, head over to Mike's and leave your thoughts there.

A Revolutionary Imagination

2011-07-04T15:17:00.000-04:00

"The gospels, and sometimes the epistles, are pretty revolutionary. They propose a revolution of about 180 degrees. Christ was quite explicit, for instance, about his pacifism. You can't be more explicit than "Love your enemies." He did run those people out of the temple, but he didn't kill them.
People are always talking about the first church. The real first church was that gaggle of people who followed Jesus around. We don't know anything about them. But he apparently didn't ask them what creed they subscribed to, or what their sexual preference was, or any of that. He fed them. He healed them. He forgave them. He is clear about sin, but he was also for forgiveness.
Any religion has to have a practice. When you let it go so far from practice that it just becomes a matter of talk, something bad happens. If you don't have an economic practice, you don't have a practice. Christians conventionally think they've done enough when they've gone to the store and shopped. But that isn't an economic life. If you take seriously those passages in the scripture that say that we live by God's spirit and breath, that we live, move and have our being in God, the implications for the present economy are just devastating. Those passages call for an entirely generous and careful encomic life.
We're a pretty bad species in a lot of ways and in other ways a pretty good one. We can become a warrior civilization and live by piracy; on the other hand, we're capable of lovingkindness, of genuine affection, of generosity, of friendship, of peaceability, of forgiveness and gratitude.... The serious question is whether you're going to become a warrior community and live by piracy, by taking what you need from other people.
I think the only antidote to that is imagination. You have to develop your imagination to the point that permits sympathy to happen. You have to be able to imagine lives that are not yours or the lives of your loved ones or the lives of your neighbors. You have to have at least enough imagination to understand that if you want the benefits of compassion, you must be compassionate. If you want forgiveness you must be forgiving.
It's a difficult business, being human."
-by Wendell Berry, Sojourners Magazine, July 2004 via Inward/Outward

You don't need anyone's permission.

2011-07-03T16:21:00.001-04:00

A little bit of inspiration.
Your welcome. :)

Giving on the Sidewalk, Remixed

2011-07-03T10:56:00.000-04:00

Artist Shanna Murray created this 25 part poster to download, print, and have 25 of your friends send to someone special on their birthday.

But I’m thinking, dang! Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a stack of small printed posters (ie. the whole image assembled and printed business card sized) in your wallet to give out when you give money to folks who are panhandling?! Make sure you’re not giving just the cards though, okay? Paper isn’t very filling for an empty stomach.

ps. I ripped off this entire post (with permission ;) from a tumblr site called http://guerilla-love.tumblr.com/

Lots of great stuff assembled there.

Hoop Dreams

2011-07-02T10:21:00.000-04:00

It was hot in the hoop house. So hot I had to try to write out tags for the tomato plants without the side of my hand touching anything - the sweat made it tough for the sharpies to stick. Working at the back of the plastic shelter I had a good view of 20,000 heirloom tomato plants. Some were plenitful. Some, like the three precious plants of the vintage variety 'Blueberry', were rare. It smelled like dirt. It smelled like vegetation. And it smelled like life.

As we worked late, the light coming through the translucent walls changed. First the light was golden, and later pink. We finally put down the markers when it was too dark to see. Coming out of the hoop house, the sky was streaked with a pink and purple sunset that was almost too much to take in.

I walked past the ducks on the way to my car. Past the chickens too. I hadn't put in the long day my farmer friend had, and yet I was tired, stiff, filthy. I was also deliriously happy.

Once-upon-a-time I'd harboured the dream of having a small organic hobby farm. It's one of those dreams I packed up when life presented other adventures. But I jumped at the chance to lend a hand to my new friend.

Dreams are funny things. When I dreamed of having a small farm, I didn't dream about having a Spring so wet that you couldn't get on the land until summer. Didn't dream about crops failing. Or pests. Or the worry that comes with it all.

No, I dreamed about the smell of dirt. Of the feeling of exhaustion that comes with a good day's work. Of being connected to the earth through plants. Of having a role in growing food.

In the end, I didn't need to own anything to experience my dreams.

2011-07-02T10:08:00.000-04:00

You might just want to check from time to time, and see where your allegiance lies.

“‎If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition, and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.” -Stephen Colbert (via thakate)

“Historically, the most terrible things — war, genocide, and slavery — have resulted not from disobedience, but from obedience.” -Howard Zinn

"The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules but by people following the rules. It's people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages" -Banksy (both quotes via http://redofromstart.tumblr.com)

Giving on the Sidewalk

2011-06-27T20:15:00.001-04:00

I've come across some great links lately for posts related to giving money to folks who panhandle.

Why I Give to Panhandlers

Q&R: Panhandlers - Do I Give or Not

How Not to be Taken Advantage of by Panhandlers

I have to say that I largely share their views, but it's a pretty empty statement. Here at home, I've never been asked for money by anyone I haven't known (and when you know them, it's sharing with a friend).

But I've got a friend who lives in a big city, and they have a personal policy that if they have money on them when asked, they give. So if they've just been to the bank machine (which dispenses $20s) and that's all they've got, then that's what they give.

It changes the way you see other people, when you approach them with 'yes' in your heart.

2011-06-23T15:00:00.000-04:00

It seems easier to write posts when things aren't going so well. I'm not sure why that is. But in case anyone still finds their way here and wonders about my absence, it's simply a sign that things are well.

There are days, like today, when I am so utterly grateful for life. There is nothing that I need. Few things that I want. I feel great. I'm more emotionally healthy than I've ever been. I'm more gentle with those dark places that still need healing; not so quick to despise those parts of myself.

Mostly settled into my little house. I said to a friend recently that it doesn't feel like home more than any other place I've lived, but it feels like home-for-now. I'm learning how to be a good neighbour here. Learning what community can be. Learning from masters at community (like the friends who made the meal above). Learning some of the give and take that comes from loving in this kind of proximity.

My ideas about Love continue to expand too. I still have so far to go until it could ever be said of me that I love well, but I've learned that Love expands to encompass that too.

I'm writing on my little front porch, rain falling all around and creating a dry, cozy space. Gratitude fills this space.

xoxo

2011-04-19T17:47:00.000-04:00

"In order to arrive there,
To arrive where you are, to get from where you are not,
You must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
In order to possess what you do not possess
You must go by the way of dispossession.
In order to arrive at what you are not
You must go through the way in which you are not.
And what you do not know is the only thing you know
And what you own is what you do not own
And where you are is where you are not."
- T.S. Eliot, a small sliver from his poem "East Coker"

I've had a birthday, and I'm asking for presents!

2011-03-30T20:40:00.000-04:00

You would not believe the heat that comes off this many candles! Yikes!

I made a wish on these candles. You see, there is a group of kids and grandmas at the Thulwane carepoint in Swaziland, and they need water. A group raised the funds to drill a well at the carepoint, but there wasn't enough money to buy a pump. So they have a capped well. They have water in their community, but have no access to it. I honestly can't imagine how frustrating it must be to know that what you need is so close, but you can't get to it.

So I'm asking everyone I know to help fund this pump.

The odds are that I don't know you well, and/or owe you an email. And I'm asking for presents. Yes, yes I am. Love makes you do crazy things, and I love these folks at Thulwane.

You can give using the widget below. If you see me in person, I can make the donation for you if you're not comfortable with giving online.

xoxo

Update (March 11): Wooooot! Almost halfway there! Y'all rock so hard!

Update 2 (March 30): Oooooh. 64% with a week to go!

Further reconstruction

2011-03-29T21:56:00.000-04:00

I read a very funny blog post quite a while back (and naturally couldn't find it now). Damomma was telling a story about her young daughter figuring out that her uncle was also her mother's brother. She'd known that he was 'Uncle', but hadn't known how it was that he was her uncle. One of those moments that pretty much rocks a kid's world. All of a sudden she realized that she wasn't the center of her mother's world. She had a history and a family before the daughter ever came along. We can probably all remember when we made similar stunning realizations... that our parents were kids once themselves, that they had friends and were real people.

A recent post of Mike's got me thinking about this in relation to God. It's both perfectly natural and rather sad that we have such a myopic view of God. We forget our own history with the creator of the universe, forget about allowing God the possibility of having a life before we came on the scene.

When God revealed to the Israelites that there was only one true God... well, it must have rocked their polytheistic world. I'm quite sure that the first people to embrace this new knowledge and allow it to shape their world were called out as heretics. Fair enough. Didn't change the truth though.

When God revealed to the world that part of being God was also the reality of Jesus... that there were two who were one... well, we know it rocked the world. And the first people to embrace this new knowledge and allow it to shape their world were called out as heretics. Fair enough. Didn't change the truth though.

And when God revealed to the world that part of being God was also the reality of Holy Spirit... that there were three who were one... well... you know what comes next.

I understand that there is a need to feel for the edges of faith. I understand that the human mind works best with boundaries and containers. But I also understand that there is great benefit to holding our ideas about God loosely. I'm not suggesting that we don't take faith seriously. I don't mean that at all.

What I do mean to say is that when we fail to see church tradition and theology as vehicles for working out what it is to be part of God's life, we begin to worship the means. It's as if we tell God that there has been quite enough revealed already, thank you very much. We don't want to hear any more. We know enough. We don't care to know God any deeper than we do now.

Mike used the words 'organic', 'dynamic', and 'evolving'. I think these are great words to express what's been on my mind; what it is to be part of God's life, and realize that it's not about God being part of mine.

Dear Savannah and Charleston...

2011-03-28T17:16:00.000-04:00

Thank you for a lovely few days. Your people were friendly, your weather was great, and your architecture even better than I could have hoped for.

But there's something I'd really like to talk to you about. I know that slavery in the US ended a long time ago. I learned when I was in Savannah that tourism is the 2nd largest industry for that city. And that tourism industry is based almost exclusively on buildings and industries developed because of slavery. Did you realize that your cities are still benefitting from slavery? I could not get a fair trade cup of coffee in either city. Most coffee (and sugar) is harvested with slave labour. Did you realize that?

Your cities are truly beautiful. How about taking that next step to making them places that stand for the end of slavery everywhere.

Thanks-
Erin xoxoxo

Reconstruction

2011-03-23T10:09:00.000-04:00

Nearing the end of an exhibit installation, I'm sewing slipcovers for some cases. More accurately, I'm using a stitch ripper to carefully pick out my stitches. Made a mistake, and am taking apart my work, so I can put it together in a different way.

The problem is that I was strangely over-confident when I began, and chose to use teeny-tiny stitches. Needless to say, they're not easy to pick out of this open-weave fabric. I really don't know what I was thinking, because I'm figuring out the design as I go. The work is slow going, while trying to minimize damage to the fabric.

As it happens, I'm also picking out stitches in my beliefs these days. Made mistakes, and am taking apart my thought patterns, so I can put them together in a different way. The thing is, I was strangely over-confident when I was young, and chose to use teeny-tiny stitches to tack down my beliefs. Needless to say, those stitches are not easy to pick out.

Putting things back together, I'm choosing a different approach this time. Seams made of looser stitching... so it's easier to reconstruct next time.

Loving the broken ones...

2011-03-15T20:38:00.003-04:00

Bar @ Chaweng / チャウエンのバー by jetalone

I've got some friends from Linwood House Ministries in Thailand just now. They go each year, and take large emotional risks to show love to exploited women. I posted a link to an earlier update, but I challenge you to read today's entry (and to keep on reading- don't miss out on the encouraging parts!). It's essential to remember that this world is very small, and our actions toward one another ripple across the globe. There is no 'us' and 'them'; there is only us.

Praying peace for every broken one of us. xoxo

Learning to trust tears

2011-03-13T19:54:00.001-04:00

I cry a lot. By a lot, I suppose I mean more than most people. I learned to pay attention to my tears; they were always a compass pointing to something important. In conversation with a stranger, tears allowed me to hone in on the place where conversation was meant to plunge deep. In prayer, tears became a bridge between the world I knew and the wider Universe I could only imagine. In music and art, tears pointed the way to Kingdom, regardless of the genre. And the rest of the time... well, tears gave others something to laugh at.

There's this sensor in my car that lights a red warning on my dashboard nearly all the time. If the gas cap isn't screwed on absolutely perfectly, tiny wisps of air are enough to set off the sensor, and it can only be re-set by the mechanic. I don't have it in me to visit the mechanic weekly. Frankly, my mechanic doesn't have it in him either. So I've learned to ignore the red warning light.

There was a time a while back when I stopped trusting my tears. I found myself crying six to eight hours a day, over nothing. I thought I could muscle my way through; pull myself out of it. Eventually a friend convinced me to go to the doctor, and as it happens, my tears had been a red warning light trying to speak the whole time. The tears had been trying to tell me I have a chemical imbalance. I got a prescription. The long crying jags stopped after the first pill. All was well with the world.

Except for the fact that I'd trained myself to ignore all tears. I'd stopped trusting the compass that had served me so well.

It's time to hold on to that compass again. To learn to trust. To know when I read stories that bring tears, I need to pay attention.

Build A Rocket...

2011-03-09T21:30:00.000-05:00

lippy kids on the corner again
lippy kids on the corner begin
settling like crows
though I never perfected the simian stroll
the cigarette senate
was everything then

do they know those days are golden
build a rocket boys...

My mind is filled with Elbow these days. And little Swazi kids and grandmas, going about their dusty day to day lives. And the team from Linwood House, light and love in Thailand's gogo bars.

Sitting in a thin place tonight. Do we know these days are golden? In the midst of all that keeps us busy, do we see that these days are golden? We are in the perfect place to choose giant dreams. We can risk to usher in redemption, healing, wholeness, life... We can build rockets.

Growing is Forever

2011-01-05T12:04:00.000-05:00

Just because it's so beautiful.

Growing is Forever from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

Falling into YES

2011-01-03T13:29:00.000-05:00

A carry over from my last post...

Today, Don Miller posted one of my favourite stories from his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and a video to go along with it. The story is about what can happen when you stop listening to the voices which say 'NO', and fall into YES instead.

A little background, from Miller's blog:
"...More than a decade ago, when the kids were young, the family sat around bored on New Years Day. Dad decided boredom wasn’t fitting for a day that God made, so he asked the kids for suggestions, and they decided to have a family parade down their small street. And as they notified neighbors, the family decided NOBODY could watch their parade, that people could only participate. And now the parade is huge. It’s an annual, street tradition, complete with a Grand Marshal and Queen. And nobody is allowed to watch. Nobody can sit on the curb. Everybody marches in the parade." Below you'll see what this looks like now:

What's your parade? Not into parades... then what YES is in front of you, shimmering like a pool?
You'll find this a theme around here this year. Because it's become the theme of my life. Yeah, I didn't really know it either until recently. I'll be sharing more YES stories this year, because that's what I spend my time reading these days. It's life changing, you know... when you stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to fall into YES.

Olly Olly Oxen Free

2011-01-01T09:59:00.000-05:00

Come back in the game.

For those who...
have already broken their New Year's resolutions
were too tired to make resolutions
have been sick so long you forget what wellness feels like
gave up
gave out
checked out
pretended everything was alright
found perfectionism paralyzing
were numbed by shame
were numbed by pain
inflicted pain at every opportunity
just couldn't get your shit together.

The game isn't over.
There are no penalties for coming out.
I'm calling it...

Olly Olly Oxen Free

Come back in the game.

Overtaken

2010-10-26T22:14:00.000-04:00

Late afternoon. I was on my way home when I looked to the south, as I always do. Checked for clouds forming over a lake so big you often can't see the other side. They were fantastic today, black as night and moving quickly. It was easy to see that rain was coming. I took the next road headed south and sped to the end, then parked my car where the paving drifts over with sand.

Camera in hand I raced across the sand toward the lake. The wall of rain raced toward me. I had less than a minute to squeeze off a few blurry snapshots before the rain over took me with a force that left me breathless and soaked to the skin in seconds. I spun on my heels and ran with that leading edge of rain toward my car. Laughing. Completely happy. Blissed out.

As I made my way home, very aware of the feeling of wet linen against my skin, I realized that my favourite moments in life were just like this. Simple. Unexpected. Unencumbered. Most of my favourite moments in life have happened when all I had access to was the contents of a backpack, or a suitcase, or my car. And I am utterly convinced that the distraction of stuff has caused me to miss many more of these moments.

I want my life filled with moments like this.
I don't want my life filled with the acquisition, possession, and maintenance of stuff.

Home-ish

2010-10-18T19:57:00.001-04:00

Ah... home is in the same town I lived before. The other side of town. A little three-room house (four, if you throw in the bathroom). I loved the last place, but downstairs smokers drove me out. Not really. They bummed me out and made my lungs icky. But to be honest, I craved a smaller place. I craved a serious down-sizing and seemed to need a structure to make it happen.

I'll be writing a little about this over the next while. Mostly because I'm still heavily into the culling phase, and so it's on my mind. And I've still really not got my act together over here, so thanks for being patient with me.

ps. the trees have nothing to do with my new home. They were spotted on an outing with a friend on Saturday. Friends feel like home.

Unpacking

2010-10-18T09:19:00.000-04:00

Slowly working through the process of unpacking at my new home. Strange to use the word 'home'. It always feels like a borrowed term for some reason.

Change

2010-10-14T11:33:00.000-04:00

Change can be scary.
Exhausting.

And sometimes change can be beautiful.

2010-09-22T12:23:00.001-04:00

Even the gray days are beautiful.

With love from somewhere between Horseshoe Bay and the Sunshine Coast.
xoxo

2010-09-14T16:26:00.000-04:00

I very nearly took the crown of Worst Canadian Host Ever.
How could I forget to take my German friend to Niagara Falls?!?
But we got there, thanks to our friend Lynne.
:)

With love from Toronto Airport (en route to the next leg of the tour...)
xoxo

2010-09-09T18:26:00.000-04:00

Perhaps the message all along was 'slow down'.
But I was too busy to hear.
Grateful that I finally got the message.

Love from Sandbanks Provincial Park...
xoxo

2010-09-07T21:34:00.001-04:00

I have the feeling that staying fluid is going to be a great asset.

Trip plans have been altered. Some health issues have made doing one long road trip impossible. Instead, there will be two small road trips and two flights. I'll miss seeing some friends. Still working on seeing some others. Hard to be sad though, when there are still places like this. Seriously. It rather makes me feel that all is right in the world.

with love from Napanee, Ontario
xoxo

2010-08-31T17:05:00.001-04:00

My final day at work has come and gone.
The old apartment is packed and put into storage.

It felt like this chapter of my life needed a book end of sorts.
Felt like a good time for a road trip.
Crossing the continent with my great friend (and Sisi) Daniela.
Will do the drive home solo.
Sitting at the dining room table of my beautiful friend Heidi.
Gratitude is spilling over in my head and heart.

I'll blog a post card as I'm able.
Consider this hello from the right coast and St. Stephen, New Brunswick.
xoxo

Container Gardening, part 4... where I finally get to the point

2010-08-18T22:34:00.000-04:00

It's hard to tell when it started. It feels like a long time ago now. Was it during the first trip to Africa? Or the second?

I can tell you the moment the vague thoughts became clear in my mind. I was at work. Listening to my boss. Listening to details about a project in which we'd invested countless hours. The details began to wash over me. I was standing at work, but I was also standing in Africa. Remembrance coming in tiny flashes of orphans and carepoints. And for some reason I looked down and noticed the shirt I was wearing that day. It was a hand-me-down that Heidi gave me (she knows that hand-me-downs are my favourite). And as the sound of details filled my ears, and the remembrance of orphans filled my mind, these t-shirt words filled my eyes:

YOU HAVE ONE LIFE

DO SOMETHING

I knew in that moment that I would quit my job.*

A few days later, I gave my boss notice. A year and a half notice. I know. But I wanted to leave well. And it takes a while to tie up 17 years worth of loose ends. Tonight I have 6 days left at that job. Lots of changes are coming.

*********

This summer I tried my hand at container gardening. Heirloom tomatoes from a local farmer who specializes in them. Kale. Heirloom beans and lettuce. A few nasturtiums. I started with a basic question: what do I want to eat? I wasn't interested in growing what was customary, or what would be easy. I realized that I could simply grow the food that I wanted to eat and that would nourish me.

*********

Life is a lot like container gardening, except we believe the tales that we're all meant to grow huge mono-culture swaths.

When I gave notice at my job, I had no idea what I was going to do. I don't have a large amount of savings. I didn't have a plan. But I did have the firm sense that I needed to spend a few months a year in Africa, and I couldn't do that and keep my job. And so I began to read widely. And pray. And listen. Lots of listening. I came to realize that I didn't have to live the life that Western culture (or my family and friends) expected of me.

I yearn for a whole life. To learn to love God and His creation well. To spend time in Africa, live with material simplicity, have community, and to have more time to work with my hands and mind creating things. So I am reverse-engineering life. These are the things I want to grow in my life; the things that will nourish me. Along the way I will create or find work that supports these goals and will finance the way.

Am I a fool? Maybe. But if I live in a country where I have the choice to try and never do... what a shame is that?!

Am I being selfish? Maybe, but I don't think so.

So what exactly will this look like? I'm not entirely sure. I hope to work from home most of the time, to reduce my dependence on the car and oil. I will do some contract work for my current employer. I will revive Biscotti Togs (yay!). I have a few websites up my sleeve, but I have to learn how to build them first. I'll tell you all about them when they're cooked a little more. And I'll squirrel away as much as I can to get back to Africa for a few months a year, though the first trip won't happen for a while.

And I'll write more here. I wish I could have shared this a long time ago. But I'm not sure who reads this blog, and I didn't want this to be the way my local community heard about these changes in my life. And I didn't want to share earlier than I needed to, because most people have lots of questions that I simply can't answer yet.

So there it is. Prayer would be great, if you have the time. Encouragement and butt-kicking will likely be in order in a few months. And in the meantime, I'm simply looking forward to moving forward in life with you amazing, vibrant friends.

Peace. xo

(*And I might just pause here to clarify that all this happened before I became unwell.)

Posting a Curly Ribbon

2010-08-11T18:28:00.003-04:00

Let's party
Originally uploaded by LensENVY

Just a word to break the silence.

I have a new best friend. She's called citalopram. I only need a little bit of her every day, but she makes so much difference. Things were dark there for a while. It seems I have a little thing called depression. Not the not-able-to-get-out-of-bed kind. More like the crying-for-6-hours-a-day kind. It was so subtle, the way it took over my life. For a long time I didn't have a clue that I wasn't well. You'd think all that crying would be a give-away. But I thought I could muscle through. That I was strong enough. That I was "spiritual enough" to handle it myself. Strong enough to do what? Hold it all together even without enough brain chemicals. Don't try this at home, kids.

I'm fine now. I'm 'me' again.

You know, I wasn't planning to write this here. Only a few people know. Reasons will become apparent when I post the last in the "Container Gardening" series. But here's why I decided to put this out here: you ever notice that no one wears "ribbons" for people with mental illness? You never see huge fundraisers for someone's friend who is slowly losing her mind. You never see people wearing a special pin in honour of a loved one slipping away in the grips of dementia. And you never see anyone slap a magnetic ribbon on the back of their car in honour of their parent who just can't keep their shit together.

While I was probably unwell for a long time, it was only truly dark for a short while before I got help (thanks to an unexpected friendship). I can only image what it might be like for those who suffer for years, and for those who never get help.

I hope you don't find this in completely bad taste, but in honour of all the folks out there dealing with things alone (or feel like they're alone), I've posted a curly ribbon. Hang in there.

xo

Container Gardening, part 3

2010-06-19T12:32:00.002-04:00

Somewhere along the line, we learned what it takes to make a successful life. We learn that we need to marry and have children. We need a well-paying, secure job. Preferably with benefits and a pension. We need a beautiful house. A green lawn. Two cars in the driveway. We need beautiful things. Particularly if we're Christians. We need to have lots of beautiful things to show the world that God is good, and that He loves us. We need to make more to give more. Even in our churches, we need to have beautiful buildings, a slate full of programs, and professional staff to show the world that God is good and that He loves us. In fact, our lives fill up with the busyness it takes to achieve this.

Somewhere along the line we were convinced that a successful life looked one way.

I saw the film King Corn a few weeks ago. One part of the film has stayed close. The film makers describe standing in the middle of corn fields in Iowa. Inedible field corn, grown for manufacturing, grew as far as the eye could see in every direction. The film makers were taken with the irony: they stood in the very heart of farmer's fields and could not find anything to eat, nothing to nourish humanity.

Many of our lives look like this.
Our lives are full.
Maximized for high production and high yield.
But there is nothing to nourish our humanity.
Or we fit that which might nourish into tiny slivers of life we neglected to program.

Most of us weren't created to tend massive swaths of "field corn".
And we don't have to.
We have so many choices and we don't even realize it.

A little while back I woke up to the fact that I have choice.

Container Gardening, part 2

2010-06-15T20:46:00.001-04:00

"Many of us live our lives out of the fear of what other people think of us. We’re waiting for someone to give us a permission slip that tells us it’s OK to be ourselves." -Chris Guillebeau

Container Gardening, part 1

2010-06-14T20:22:00.000-04:00

Hi.

It's me.

Really.

You know sometimes when you try to take off a coat, and the nap of the coat lining rubs the wrong way against the nap of what you're wearing, and you can't quite pull the coat off cleanly and end up with your coat inside out, hanging off your hands?

My life looks just like that right now.

Earth Day

2010-04-22T14:40:00.002-04:00

shell

Hard to beat Wendell Berry for some Earth Day wisdom.
What better call than to practice resurrection...

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion--put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection.

-Wendell Berry
Source: The Country of Marriage

One Day Without Shoes

2010-04-03T18:58:00.002-04:00

I was poking around Tree Hugger, and discovered that April 8 is "One Day Without Shoes Day". This is the third annual event, started by the founder of TOMS Shoes. Now I'd forgotten about TOMS Shoes when I made up my fair trade list a few posts back. TOMS is actually a very cool company. For every pair of shoes you buy, they donate a pair to a child in need.

I love what they're doing with this event. The goal is to see the world barefoot for one day. Not for the sake of going without shoes, but to have a tiny taste of what life is like for those without shoes. As I saw first hand in Swaziland, going without shoes is a huge cause of unnecessary disease and suffering.

Now I'm not allowed to go barefoot at work. But if you can do this... if you own your own business or work from home, or can swing it with your boss, think about it. I would love to know your thoughts after. April 8. You can find out more and register at OneDayWithoutShoes.com.

Kevin Bales: How to Combat Modern Slavery

2010-04-02T17:40:00.001-04:00

A brilliant Ted talk! Informative, challenging, and inspiring.

2010-03-31T08:57:00.002-04:00

"Things I wanted to do when I was ten

1. Make a wagon into a restaurant & travel around the world having adventures with my invisible pet dinosaur. Most of the adventures would start with people buying food from us

2. Light things on fire to see how they would burn

3. Dig an underground fort & live there except at mealtime & at night because I hate dirt in my food & my pajamas

4. Discover a continent or an island & not tell my parents where it was because they'd just make me clean it"

-from StoryPeople

2010-03-27T07:46:00.005-04:00

I was recently connected with someone researching human trafficking in Canada. She was looking for material related to the "demand" side of the equation, and wanted to be prepared to help people find ethical consumption patterns in their own cities. I sent along a list of links for fair trade shopping options I've been gathering. And since I had the list compiled, thought someone else might find it useful.

A few caveats... most of the links below will involve shopping online and not in a local bricks and mortar store. I believe it's important to support local stores, particularly those in the traditional down-town core. Also, I haven't used the majority of the companies listed below, simply because I don't shop much, and try to by used when possible. The list of shoes suppliers is long not because I have a thing for shoes, but because in my case I'm looking for fair trade and vegan, so it's good to have some choice.

I'd also mention that coffee, chocolate and sugar are purchased from my local Ten Thousand Villages store. Local food is purchased as much as possible. And I try to avoid products and companies which I know to be sweatshop made. That said... I don't succeed all the time. In fact, I've become really lazy lately and have slipped back into some bad purchasing habits. So this post is for me as much as anyone else.

When I've been in discussions with folks about fair trade, I most often hear that they can't afford to shop for fair trade products. That they're too expensive. Well here's the thing: there is a fixed cost to producing goods. We have come to believe that some brands of goods are cheaper than others, but that's just not true. If you find products that are truly cheap for you to buy, it simply means that someone else is subsidizing the price for you. It means that the farmer received pennies a day and is struggling to support their family and keep their farm so that we can buy that food cheaply. It mean that third world workers receive a couple dollars pay in exchange for long hours of work, so that we can fill our homes with cheap goods. There is a cost to everything, even if we aren't the ones paying the full cost.

Didn't mean this to turn into a sermon. Here is the list. If you know of other fair trade companies, please leave a link in the comments! Newest updates have been marked with an *. I appreciate the suggestions that have been left via comments and email, and particularly appreciate a reminder from Heidi that a great, safe way to invest your money when making purchases is to shop directly from artists, craftspersons and designers.

Shoes:
http://www.toms.com/*
http://buyshoessavelives.com
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheGeneration
http://www.etsy.com/shop/lepiedleger*
http://www.autonomieproject.com/footwear.html
http://www.simpleshoes.com
http://blog.veja.fr/en
http://www.deckers.com
http://www.mooshoes.com
http://www.keencanada.ca
http://www.patagonia.com

Fair trade clothing:
http://www.alternativeapparel.com
http://www.maggiesorganics.com
http://www.yogo.ca
www.bibico.co.uk *

Fair trade clothing/ accessories that supports a cause:
http://www.saribari.com
http://www.goodlovesyou.com
http://www.edunonline.com

Accessories made by supported communities:
http://store.madebysurvivors.com
http://www.nationwares.com
http://acholibeads.com
http://www.timbalicrafts.org
http://plywoodpeople.com/category/goods

Film:
http://callandresponse.com

Articles/ Sites I'd bookmarked:
http://humantrafficking.change.org/blog/view/stop_crucifixes_and_bible_covers_made_by_slaves
http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/conscientious-cook/put-down-that-winter-tomato-it-was-picked-by-a-slave-078029
http://www.slaverymap.org/
http://riccikilmer.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/fair-trade-for-our-family/

Ethical Shopping Guides:
http://www.ethical.org.au/links/
http://www.sweatfree.org/shoppingguide
http://www.free2work.org/home

2010-03-22T17:18:00.003-04:00

Can I tell you about the very neat thing that happened to me today? The super cool Sabrina Henry interviewed me on her photography blog!

I'm obviously a fan of Sabrina's, and love her blog. She has a way of writing posts and asking questions that are thought-provoking and community-building. And her photographs, particularly from her recent African safari, are gorgeous. Sabrina is a generous soul, and it was such a great experience to work through the questions she posed!

I have to admit that it's also a little weird though, putting myself out there like this. I feel a like I'm standing against the wall at a Grade 7 dance. If only Ladies Night would come on the radio... I'd know exactly what to do. ;)

2010-03-05T07:52:00.004-05:00

When tragedy was unfolding in Haiti, spilling out of the confines of what we could imagine, photographer Jeremy Cowart travelled there to see what he could do to help. In short order Haiti was filled with documentary photograhers... folks who showed us what we needed to see. Cowart took a different approach. He showed us what we needed to hear.

Equipped with a camera, a translator, and a Sharpie marker, Cowart spent time with Haitians. He asked them what they wanted the world to know about what they were going through. He's now set up a website, showing an image a day. It's powerful.

The fact that I’m still alive does not mean I’m better than the others. It’s just a gift from God.

Print are for sale, and I've heard a rumor that there will be a book eventually. All proceeds will go toward the purchase of tents for displaced Haitians, who will soon be facing the challenge of the rainy season.

2010-03-03T18:45:00.002-05:00

Earlier this week, photographer David duChemin posted a list of 20 Perfect Things.

An hour ago my cousin welcomed his first child into the world. My cousin is 50 years old.

What would be on my list of perfect things today?

A beautiful drive home from work.
All 7lbs 7.8oz of new baby.
The reminder that life is full of wonderful surprises.

Welcome to the world, Adam Thomas Tripp. xo

2010-02-23T21:51:00.002-05:00

Right. So it started this weekend. I was super sick with a cold (that I'm still getting over), and I couldn't focus on much. Thought I'd have a little peek online to see what was going with the Olympics. Got completely sucked into curling. Completely sucked in. And apparently curling is a gateway drug, because the next thing I knew I was watching hockey. I have no idea why I feel the need to explain myself, but there it is.

So I've noticed this beautiful little quirk when you watch online: the stats updates load faster than the video. So I always knew ahead of time when a goal was going to be scored.

Now, you'd think this would spoil the surprise. I'm not a Christmas-peeker. But with this, I found myself leaning into the screen. Would they make this shot? Or this one? Or was this it? Nope. This? YEAH!!! I have been a bundle of anticipation. And it occurred to me that it would pretty amazing if life was like this.

But wait... life is like this.

Tomorrow you're going to meet someone who needs a little extra love.
You're going to have the opportunity to totally make someone's day.
You're going to have to show yourself some grace.
You're going to have the chance to forgive.
Tomorrow you're going to have the chance to be fabulous, to shine, to change the atmosphere around you, to lead, to bless, to love.

Are you leaning into it yet?

2010-02-22T17:34:00.002-05:00

I wanted to share this great video that Jumbo and Kriek Gerber posted on their blog. I've talked about the Gerbers here before. Wonderful folks loving in incredible ways in Swaziland.

Jumbo & Kriek Swaziland 2009 from Jumbo on Vimeo.

Deb G., who heads up sponsorship for Beveni Carepoint sent an email a couple days ago that there are 5 new beautiful children waiting to be sponsored. If you've been thinking about child sponsorship but have just never got around to it, this would be a great opportunity. You can contact Deb through her blog, or email me.

And if you do already sponsor a child somewhere in the world, consider this your friendly reminder to send a letter. :)

Rethinking Lent

2010-02-15T13:11:00.003-05:00

I've been giving it some thought. Lent. What it would look like to observe Lent this year. I came to Lent as an adult, and as a practice completely outside any corporate expression of faith I was involved with, so I'm not hung up on the varied details depending on which tribe you worship with. The common idea is one of fasting or denial, as Jesus did in the desert before his public ministry began, to focus one's energy and thought on God. Carnival and Pancake Tuesday were created as occasions to feast and use up the foods which would be fasted during Lent, to get them out of the house and not have them go to waste. There is much to be said for fasting foods. But something a friend said opened my thinking. She was discussing Lent with a co-worker who had decided to invest in herself and de-stress for Lent. Now I suppose one could think of this as a bit selfish, and perhaps even counter to the spirit of Lent.

But maybe not. Maybe the thing standing in the way of us hearing His voice are the lies we tell ourselves. Unconsciously. Repeatedly. Convincingly.

For 40 days, could you give up:
-calling yourself 'stupid' when you make a mistake
-calling yourself 'crazy' when you're losing your sh*t
-comparing yourself to others to make yourself feel good
-comparing yourself to others to make yourself feel bad
-telling yourself that you'll never learn
-telling yourself that you deserve the abuse
-telling yourself that the abuse you hand out isn't so bad

I wonder. I wonder if Light would shine brighter if we weren't clouding things with the lies. You know, it would be much easier to just drink water for 40 days and make a donation to blood:water mission. And maybe we should do that too.

What's really standing in the way of radical Love?
Fast that.

2010-02-13T20:36:00.003-05:00

There is little more beautiful than redemptive love.

This week Idelette gave friends the opportunity to come along side a young woman in need of a little redemption.

"I’d love to invite you into the story of a 16-year-old girl who is creating a life for herself beyond the shadow of Vancouver’s notorious serial killer. This 16-year-old’s mother was murdered by the pig farmer and she’s putting together the pieces of her life, finding her own voice and her own place on this earth.

Two trusted friends are bringing this 16-year-old to Vancouver next weekend, so she can participate in the annual Women’s Memorial March through the streets of the Downtown Eastside. She will have an opportunity to walk where her mother walked, meet her mother’s friends, walk in solidarity with so many who loved her mother and honor the missing and murdered women."

In a later email, Idelette said "We believe this will help her find her own place in the world, while honoring the memory of her mother. There is something so beautiful about a small group of people saying, "Yes!" Basically, I believe, that together we've helped change the world for this one young woman by shifting the boundaries of her story."

I believe that we are all changed in powerful and beautiful ways when we participate in this kind of redemptive love. In fact, I believe it is the most powerful force on earth.

Wonder what hope looks like?

2010-02-04T17:51:00.002-05:00

It looks like this.

Picture Hope: Kwizera Alfred, Musician from LittlePurpleCow Productions on Vimeo.

Made by Little Purple Cow Productions, Stephanie Roberts is part of the powerful Picture Hope team. I would love nothing more for this video of hers to go viral, and for Kwizera Alfred to find the help he needs to make everything come together.

Curious?

2010-02-01T07:10:00.002-05:00

I love this video. Produced by Nic Askew, featuring Seth Godin. First seen at Mike Todd's blog. He always finds the best stuff.

'curiosity' from Nic Askew on Vimeo.

2010-01-25T19:32:00.003-05:00

"Thinking about someone doesn’t help them.
It’s only when our thoughts translate into actions
that we reach out of ourselves and impact the life of another."
-Chris Guillebeau

Who did you mean to call?
To email?
To hug?
To buy flowers?

Who did you mean to encourage?
To listen to?
To see?
To really see?

Who did you mean to tell that you love them...?

Do it.

2010-01-23T10:40:00.002-05:00

I turned into the campus driveway last night, my mind readying itself (as much as is possible) to hear Stephen Lewis speak. As I made the left turn, my headlights picked out one graphic image after another of aborted fetuses, along with hand held signs declaring that the speaker supported abortion.

It made me angry.

I have huge admiration for Lewis. He's not a follower of Jesus, but he does more to usher in Kingdom than just about anyone else I can think of. He works tirelessly on behalf of the poor, the widow and the orphan. He is deeply invested in improving child and maternal health. He has worked to raise awareness of the oppressed. He is working in the gap where the CHURCH SHOULD BE.

Lewis is not perfect. No one is. But he pours his life out seeking to be an agent of positive change in the world.

So if you happen to be one who pickets, that is your choice. But I would suggest that those who most need to be moved to action are not people like Lewis, but the vast majority of people (including those in the church) who know about suffering but choose to do nothing.

I would also suggest that there are better ways to love.

2010-01-21T19:56:00.002-05:00

Like you, I'm heart broken over what's been happening in Haiti. Lots of places online to read about what's going on, why Haiti was hit so hard, and how to give. I urge you to do some reading if you haven't already. Here are some random things to consider...

-whether you're a twitter user or not, check out the stream for Shaun King. If you read back through the last week (yes, that will take a while), you'll see how this technology is changing the face of emergency response. From what I understand, King isn't the head of a big NGO. He's a pastor with passion and tekkie connections, and through twitter he's been able to, amongst other things, get 5 neurosurgeons to Haiti.

-don't forget the Haitians where you live, no matter where in the world that might be. I got an email at work today from an agency in my town that works to settle refugees and new immigrants. Here's a quote: "donations can be made to help local Hatians with the costs of trying to call home to find out about friends and family rather than sacrificing their food money." Okay, no one should have to give up eating to be able to find out if their families are alive or dead. If you don't know if you have a Haitian community where you live, find out. And then help.

-please don't forget those that are suffering in other parts of the world. Maybe you think you can only handle so much, or maybe you are getting tired of hearing about need. You know what... your heart is larger than that. And our God is waiting for us to step up. Give to the Haiti relief effort, but continue to give where you were already committed. If you haven't given because you've only got $5, well don't wait. Someone needs that $5.

Apprentice...

2010-01-06T20:28:00.003-05:00

This mind-blower was posted by theshinysea.ca, and shared by James Kingsley (I think).

Whether it’s surfing or writing or anything creative, this is a great thing to remember:

“To apprentice is to accept the unfolding beauty of progression. To become at ease with where you are in the spectrum of expertise. I have a good friend who has killed the simple, visceral joy of cycling and climbing because he never believes he’s good enough. He sets his sights so high that his performance is always a disappointment to him. Being covetous of what you are not is corrosive. Enjoy the slow blossoming of your own expertise. This is the craft of developing a craft.”

—from “The Path of Apprenticeship,” by Mark Jenkins

Let me play with this a bit...

To be an apprentice of Jesus is to accept the unfolding beauty of progression...
To be an apprentice of parenthood is to accept the unfolding beauty of progression...
To be an apprentice of community is to accept the unfolding beauty of progression...
To be an apprentice of photography is to accept the unfolding beauty of progression...

Okay, your turn. Are you an apprentice? Tell me how this quote makes you feel.

2010-01-04T22:03:00.002-05:00

It came up in conversation with a friend a few days ago, how something is really missing in community when confession is missing. I don't mean tabloid-style-Tammy-Faye-with-mascara confession either. When confession is missing, it not only diminishes community, but it keeps our own hearts locked up. Sometimes we do it on purpose. And sometimes we just don't realize time slipping away.

Today I read Cuileanne's post Say what you need to say. She invited readers to email and tell her something honest. In return, she would do the same. Quickly, before I could talk myself out of it, I fired off an email to her.

It felt great.

Getting her email back felt great.

Half a continent between us, nearly a generation between us, and now a lovely silver thread connecting us.

What honest thing do you have to say? Is there someone nearby you can trust with your honesty? Someone you can meet up with this week? If not, email me with 'something honest' in the subject line and I'll email you something honest back just like Culianne did for me.

A Reminder...

2010-01-01T09:31:00.003-05:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson

Just Watch Me...

2009-12-31T15:40:00.005-05:00

Image by ivan amezcua, quote by Layne Beachley, via Chris Buillebeau

"As I was mulling over my thoughts on the subject, I found myself thinking about all of your superpowers you shared with me this past summer. It seems to me that often our superpowers often coincide with things we generally love to do, things around which we have a lot of passion. Also, remember when we talked about using our superpowers for good, and not evil?

This led me to think that maybe I should make my resolutions around exercising my superpower; moreover, maybe you'd want to do the same, and maybe we could check in with each other over the year -- no pressure, no penalties if we don't do it, just encouragement from each other..." - from Chookooloonks

What do you say? What if you and I did this? What if we stopped making lists of what we think we should stop doing and focused on our superpowers. For real. Yes, you do so have them! We all do. Maybe it's a God-given gift you were born with, or a talent you've worked your butt off to develop. Maybe it's a spiritual gift. What if we focused on using that superpower this year and really gave it a work out?

"Will (your goal here) make you happy?

If you don’t know or you’re not sure, close your eyes & see that goal coming to fruition (I love that word, “fruition”). If you meet it’s end with a shrug, then cross it off your list or revise it until it excites you. If you see the finish line in your mind’s eye & you’re full to bursting, then keep that image & that feeling in your front pocket & carry it with you on your journey." -from When I Grow Up

Merry Mary

2009-12-24T09:44:00.002-05:00

Peace to you, friend.
Peace to you who are struggling.
Peace to you who are full of joy.
Peace to you who are a little lost tonight.
And peace to you who have found Home.

May we, like Mary, take a deep breath and plunge into the beautiful unknown.

Merry Christmas
xoxo

*image by one of my favourite people... doctor, photographer, artist, and wheat paste revolutionary Chip Thomas.

You're just in time for this gift...

2009-12-22T07:36:00.002-05:00

If you've spent any time around here, you know I hold a huge love for Swaziland, and the beautiful people there. I'm part of a group that loves on Bheveni care point. Deb Gangemi, co-ordinator and Love-conspirator put together this video of kids at Bheveni who need sponsorship.

Just putting it out there. This would be an awesome gift to give your family this Christmas... investing in someone who needs you as much as you need them.

Enough?

2009-12-10T20:31:00.002-05:00

I stopped into Mike Todd's blog for my regular butt-kicking. He's reading Will Samson's Enough: Contentment in an Age of Excess, an excellent book that I clearly need to re-read. So here's a quote from Mike's post:

"As I read late last night I had this thought:

I’m flipping through my Bible trying to find a specific passage. Where in the Gospels does Jesus say:

“It’s OK for you to have more than you need, to have the latest and greatest of everything, to consume more than you should, to create more than your share of the mess, while others, who are also made in the image of God, who are also my Father’s children, go hungry and die from a lack of the very things you take for granted.”

Where does he say that?

It must be in here somewhere. So many of us live like that, and surely we wouldn’t risk it unless we were absolutely certain Jesus approved."

Yeah. That sound you just heard? That was the sound of all my excuses falling away.

So I'd love your input here, friends. Can we try a little experiment? What if you could start from scratch... to re-build your life from the ground up. For arguments sake, let's say that you didn't have a spouse or kids. If you could structure your life so that you didn't hang onto more than you needed, didn't consume more than you should or make more than your share of the mess, and shared with those go hungry and lack... what would life look like? What could it look like? I'm sure it could look many different ways, so please leave your thoughts.

Life as a refugee

2009-12-07T11:59:00.002-05:00

I got this brilliant piece in my email from friends at The Reclamation Project. It is shared with permission... just too good not to share.

"Often I receive questions of what "qualifies" someone as a refugee. Mere words don't suffice, so, for someone living under an umbrella of freedom in the USA, it's best to use the imagination:

Imagine a rogue military unit sweeping in from Ohio and occupying Fort Wayne (if not Fort Wayne, insert your city here). This unit seizes control of the city in every way possible. Laws are ignored. The federal government looks the other way. Soon, the leaders give instructions to start "cleansing" the area of Hoosiers and anyone who is not a native Buckeye. Men are killed, women are raped, and children witness it all.

Somehow, you make it out alive with your family.

In an utter state of confusion and desperation, you depart with others en masse (and by foot) to Canada where you're sequestered in a camp with only the shirts on your collective backs. One week there turns into a month, and then a month into a year. You spend ten years in this camp, and only the lucky among you eventually get a ticket out.

Again, you're blessed, because your family is intact, but all at once you're sent to Bolivia to start a new life without fear of persecution. They explain that you'll be safe in Bolivia, and that it will be a place of refuge for you.

But you can never return to Fort Wayne. Or America for that matter.

You try to explain to the Bolivians that you're legal and you're in their country for a reason but the Bolivians don't understand people from Fort Wayne and many of them want you to leave. You don't look like them. You don't talk like them. You're straining their system.

You want to scream: "But we're all human, aren't we?"

So, you do the best you can in a new culture and a strange land. Your college degree means nothing in this new country but you try to get a job and learn the language and customs, while still trying to preserve some of your own.

It's not easy, but at least it's better than what's happening back in Fort Wayne.

Sound too crazy to believe? Try telling that to a refugee.

When an individual receives the designation of refugee, he or she is given the gift of life. This may sound a little extreme, but we're not dealing with some casual term. Rather, to be named a refugee is to receive a title of huge significance, granted by the U.N. High Commission to a relatively small group of people who have fled an oppressive government, war, genocide or some other unrest in their country. By contrast to the potential death sentence one might be under by staying (or by being forced to return to the place from which they fled), to become a refugee is to be granted life. As wonderful as that is, though, a new life still comes at a cost - for those who receive this status can never return to the world he or she once knew. You may think that's not so bad considering what's being left behind, and that's true to a certain extent. It doesn't make it any easier, though. Most people love their homeland, despite the circumstances causing them to leave.

Somehow in the midst of all of this, they have to find their way.

I say all of this simply to point out that refugees are among us, wherever you may live. Make a friend in a refugee and offer a helping hand. Be welcoming. Before long he or she won't be a refugee anymore, but rather, a friend.

And, if you ever wonder what it's like to be a refugee, read the above story again, and simply insert your city.

It is a true privilege to work with the many refugees who have come to us from all over the world. Through the services and programs we provide at The Reclamation Project, we are bringing education, opportunity and friendship to our new American friends. We cannot do this without you. It is through the financial support of committed partners that the vision and mission of The Reclamation Project continues to move forward."

The Reclamation Project is doing amazing work with refugees who are being settled in the Fort Wayne, Indiana area of the US. They are meeting incredibly practical needs, such as teaching English, providing free legal clinics, and one of my favourite services... using a volunteer team to teach refugees how to use the public transit system. Love in action here, folks.

If you'd like to give, you can visit The Reclamation Project website. If you live in the area and would like to give your time, I'm sure they'd like to talk to you. And considering that refugees are spread all over the world, trying to make a new life for themselves, ask around to see if there is something you can do in your area to help.

Don't forget that young Jesus was a refugee...

Addictive Diversion

2009-12-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

Advent :: Resources

2009-12-01T20:42:00.011-05:00

Below you'll find some resources for Advent, in case you're feeling the same need I am to get centered this season. There is a range of writing, from a range of perspectives. Seems appropriate, as that pretty much describes the gathering at the Bethlehem stable.

Blogs with posts on Advent themes this month:
[hold this space]
Ragamuffin Diva
Laura at Changing Lenses
Idelette's globalgirl Advent Adventure
Ikon Community
The Advent Door
Manna in the Wilderness
Go To Bethlehem and See...

Creed:
The Mystery of Advent, by Ron Cole

Prayer:
Behold His Coming and Grant Us Understanding, by Claudia Mair Burney
Prayers for Sunday Advent candle readings, Weeks 1&2, Weeks 3&4
Expecting

Resources:
Jonny Baker's Advent resources
Mustard Seed Associates
Jesse Tree

Books:
Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus: Experiencing the Peace and Promise of Christmas, by Nancy Guthrie

Videos:
Christmas Kingdoms from TWOTP
Advent Conspiracy

Images:
Bus Shelter Nativity

Background:
The Christian Season of Advent

Thanks to Laura, Claudia, Ron, Kel, Kristine, Karin and Daisymarie for suggestions. If you come across more you think we'd like to know about, I'll continue to update this list. There are a few posts of mine tucked away in the archives, in case these links aren't enough :)

Advent Resources??

2009-11-28T09:31:00.003-05:00

Advent begins tomorrow. I usually see a number of resources around by now, but things seem quiet this year. Do you know of some Advent resources? Perhaps you're producing some yourself? If you know of something, please leave a link or reference in the comments. Thanks :)

Holiday Assignment

2009-11-12T18:41:00.006-05:00

So we're gearing up for holiday season. Like two and a half months worth. And after a sad-sad day at work*, I'm giving you an assignment. Starting now. It won't take long to put this activity together, and you don't want to wait until things are hectic.

Holiday Photo Parties

Supplies:
-Photographs. The old-school kind. All the stray ones. The ones from last month and the ones that are 30 years old (or more...)
-Box or tray or jar or whatever can hold the photos
-Pencils (or acid-free ink pen, but pencils are better)
-Photo Albums (not the evil sticky page kind)
optional:
-digital recorder
-video recorder
-cell phone or scanner

How To:
-All those photos. Those ones. The ones you love. Those photos without a single name written on the back, date, or any clue to give it a little context... yeah, those photos. Put them in a container so they're easily accessible. Keep some pencils nearby.
-Every time there is a gathering of family, friends, or even just your own household, set out the container of photos with pencils. Encourage everyone to pull out some photos, identify the subjects on the back, add the date if you can, explain what's going on in the photo. In most cases, lots of discussion and debate will happen. That is good!
-If the stories get good, bust out a recorder to capture those stories. Don't forget, at some point while you're recording, to identify who is talking, the date, and what the occasion is.
-If photos are fully identified, pop them into an album. Don't worry about sorting them at this point. You just want them in a safe place, away from the photos that still need work.
-Someone at the party wants a copy of a photo you have? Now's the time to share all those duplicate copies you thought you needed when you had them developed. No duplicates? They can take a picture with their cell phone, or scan it and email it right then. Don't wait until later. You don't want this to become a chore. If you have older kids, this is an awesome way to have them help, teach them about their family history and stay engaged.
-Next party or gathering, bring out the box again. Going to someone else's house? Bring the show on the road.
-Family or friends too spread out to get together? Start a blog (you can make it private if you want). Create a post for each photo, and family and friends can leave comments identifying subjects and telling stories about what was happening. This doesn't have to be a big job. Post a photo a week. If other family members want to get in on the action, add them as blog admins so they can post photos too. If you end up with some great stories, you can always make a book from your blog posts with companies like Blurb. Now, don't forget to go back to those original photos and scribble on the backs. You can print out the stories to go with them. Don't count on that blog existing a hundred years from now.

What to watch:
-The great drinks and food that go along with these kinds of gatherings... yeah, keep them away from the photos. The last thing you want is a drink being knocked over into your box.

Follow-up:
-Later, much later if needed, you can get fancy with the photos. Re-organize, scrapbook or whatever works for you. Or don't. The important thing is that in a few years from now, you and your family are going to have a great source of family history.
-Let this be a reminder to identify the digital photos you're taking now!!

*some day when you're gone, your descendants are going to find your boxes of unidentified photos. They will be meaningless to them because all the stories are missing!! They might take those boxes of old photos to the local historical museum. That local history museum will not be able to accept the very wonderful photos because they've become meaningless... because all the stories are missing!! And then those descendants of yours, they're going to take those boxes of photos home and throw them in the garbage. And everyone will be very sad.

2009-10-29T07:52:00.002-04:00

I promise you not a moment will be lost as long as I have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love.

-StoryPeople

What Would You Do To Change The World?

2009-10-20T18:22:00.002-04:00

Tom Davis posed this question on his blog. I've talked about Tom here before... he heads up Children's HopeChest and is the author of the fierce and important book Red Letters: Living a Faith That Bleeds, as well as others. What you may not know is that Tom has become a novelist as well, using the medium of fiction to introduce people to critical global issues (think modern day slavery). It's a brilliant strategy.

So, Tom's cooking up a new book project, and is looking for imput. Here is his question:

Imagine a world where you had the power to eliminate extreme poverty. What would you do and how would you do it? What does it look like to you?

You can head on over to Tom's blog to leave your thoughts. I'm curious too... so if you'd like to copy+paste your thoughts here too, I'd love that.

Hello, in the random way I've perfected...

2009-10-07T06:30:00.000-04:00

This seems to be a real season of change and growth for me. Can hardly wrap my head around it all. Just a couple days into the Mondo Beyondo e-course, and it's kicking my butt! What I thought would be lots of work + fun is proving to be lots of work + lots of surprises unearthed + lots of internal work + a little bit of awe. I should probably mention the tears too. The perfect thing at the perfect time.

Also breaking through some inertia, to make changes I have been thinking about for ages. This last weekend I bailed on Facebook. I should have done it a long time ago. Bailing from a few more internet haunts. Making room. Making room for something more life-giving.

The photo above? Yep, that's me on the right. Having a blast with an Indian monk. Yes, I was. And fellow Lumen Dei participant Peter Bergmeier caught the pixels to prove it. Actually, Peter had a difficult task. We were all given the assignment of making a portrait of someone in the group. Poor Peter was assigned me. "You're in for a rough ride..." I told him. In truth there are very few photographs around of me. Lots of reasons I won't get into now. But I had a choice to make with Peter. I could let my habitual behaviour ruin some really great moments... or I could just relax and stay present with whatever I was doing at the time. Occasionally I managed to stay present. I owe Peter a great debt for making it possible.

And this is so weirdly random I can't believe I'm posting about it, but I thought I should mention it. Most of you know me in your comment boxes as 'wilsonian'. Way, way back when I started blogging, I was doing so anonymously, and that was the name I chose to use. Well, I clearly no longer blog anonymously. And I've met so many of you in person now, that it seems a little ridiculous to keep using it. It was habit, and there are frankly so many other 'Erin's out there that I just coasted with it. But it's time to let that go too. So when you see me in you inbox (and you will... I have LOTS of catching up to do with blogs and flickr!!!), it will be with my real name. And yes, it will really be me.

Peace...
Erin Wilson

2009-09-29T11:01:00.002-04:00

"Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman via Inward/Outward

What makes you come alive? Are you living it out, or are you hiding it away, tucked safely in a little niche with other sacred things?

Waiting for permission to unwrap your best self, your best songs, your best poems, your best meals, your best hugs, your best prayers, your best paintings, your best lessons, your best and strongest wide open arms...?

Don't wait. You already have permission.